What I've Learned From Riding Rollercoasters and Jumping Out Of Airplanes.
How I am facing my fears after loss.
Have you ever been terrified of roller coasters, only to find yourself loving the thrill after conquering that fear?
“One of my favorite memories with Aunt Ruth was when she forced me to go on Everest at Disney during cousin camp and now it is my favorite ride. She always pushed me out of my comfort zone at the best times.”
**i’ve asked family and friends to submit memories of my mother! if you have any, please submit HERE.**
Particularly when it came to roller coasters. I wouldn't say I liked the anticipation of the line queue. I loved the exhilaration of exiting the ride.
Those who know me offline might find it hard to believe that I was an incredibly timid child. I have vivid memories of being reluctantly pulled into roller coaster queues, tears streaming down my face, petrified of the unknown adventure that lay ahead. Yet, once my mom had coaxed me into these rides, I would always disembark radiating with pride and exhilaration, having fallen in love with the thrill.
It's as if she knew me pretty well…
Losing my mother forced me to mature far earlier than I ever wanted to, turning me inwards, and forcing me to be my advocate (whether I liked it or not…). No one else was there to push me to leap from an airplane at 15,000ft or dive more than 150 ft deep into the ocean. No one encouraged me to socialize with strangers to make new friends.
I swiftly discovered that it was up to me to challenge myself and try new things.
Confronting mortality at a young age instilled an urgency to fully experience life, grasping every opportunity that comes my way.
We are pretty damn vulnerable to taking our last breath.
In 2017, I addressed an audience of 6,000 people about the inescapability of death (The Scorpio in me is seeping through…).
This discourse was fueled by witnessing my mom's grueling battle with cancer, which robbed her of the life she wanted. It led me down a path of profound introspection, compelling me to revisit memories of writing my high school graduation speech that I share below:
“My entire perspective changed when I truly understood the reality of death and what death
means.
It means you don’t exist anymore
…
What I felt was the clock ticking. The end is inevitable. For myself, for my mother, for you, for
all of us
…
We are not created to just exist. We were created to live. To feel alive.
We are scared to live, yet we are scared to die.
How does this juxtaposition make any sense?
Living requires that we aren’t afraid. We can’t be “scared” to overcome an obstacle that stands
in our way. We can’t be scared to make a mistake, scared to make a fool of ourselves.
If you’re scared to die, then live. Every moment that you hesitate, you are dying…”
It may seem excessively dramatic to assume that experiencing the loss of a loved one could hurl one into a life brimming with enriching moments, void of sorrow and heartache. It may sound trite to embrace the mantra of "living your best life" when our daily existence is fraught with challenges and the stark reality of mortality ticking away in our biological clocks.
Yet, I firmly believe in this underlying philosophy:
Life, with all its complexities, is like a thrilling rollercoaster ride..., brimming with highs and lows. And in that, it is our reaction to these low points that molds our journey towards a life of fulfillment.
“Aunt” Ruth had an innate understanding of this. She was an adventurer at heart, a risk-taker in the most exceptional sense, enriching her circle with unforgettable experiences and lessons of resilience and positivity.
Her spirit was as infectious as it was inspiring, and she had the unique ability to instill this in others. As I reminisce about this unparalleled aspect of her character, I find myself yearning to pass it on to you:
Check out these Challenges for you:
Write a list of your fears, big or small. Choose one and confront it this week. Are you afraid of heights? Plan a day hike with a friend and climb a mountain (safety first, of course). How do you feel afterward?
When was the last time you tried a new cuisine or dish?
When did you last try to join a new workout class, or visit a new city? Challenge yourself to step beyond the comfort zone, just as my mom encouraged me to do.
Emma~ reading your writings allows me to feel close again to your mom! Thank you!❤️