Ways We Say ‘I Love You’ Without Saying ‘I Love You’

(or: a list of how to tell someone you care without getting all sappy about it)

There’s something about February that makes you think about love, whether you want to or not. Not just the grand, cinematic kind—the flowers and the declarations and the sweeping, rom-com-worthy speeches. But the everyday kind. The real kind. The kind that shows up quietly, without an announcement.

• Like when a stranger cheers for you at mile 10 of a race, just as the feeling in your feet is coming back.

• Or when a friend orders extra fries because they know you’ll want some (even though you said you weren’t hungry).

• Or when someone looks at you mid-crisis—mid-doubt, mid-spiral, mid-I am barely holding it together—and says, Hey, I’ve got you.

This month, I wrote about resilience and grief and the ways we push through, even when we don’t know how. About what running teaches us, what anxiety reveals, what discomfort asks of us. About the moments in life that feel huge—PRs, career decisions, the choices that change us—but how, when you zoom out, the moments that actually stick are often the ones you never thought to pay attention to in the first place.

The small moments.

• Like a 24-hour virus knocking me out, humbling me into realizing that I don’t have to prove I deserve rest. (And that people aren’t actually thinking about me as much as I assume they are.) (hi, self-love.)

• Like sitting in a 6:30 AM race tent, shivering with friends, realizing that sometimes warmth isn’t just physical—it’s found in being around people who just get it. (hi, friendship love.)

• Like getting a FaceTime from my sister, watching her hold my new baby niece, showering in admiration of new life, new love, new possibilities. A tiny reminder that love doesn’t just grow—it arrives, unexpectedly, and changes everything. (hi, family love.)

• Like the moment I finally let go of the need to be “the strong one” all the time, and admitted—out loud—that I do, in fact, need people. (hi, learning to let love in.)

And I keep coming back to this idea: Love isn’t in the grand gestures. It’s in the everyday ones. It’s in the people who remember your coffee order. Who tell you to text when you get home. Who notice when your voice sounds just a little bit off and ask, Are you okay?

So, in honor of the final day of February—a month that, in many ways, holds love in all its forms—here’s a list of the ways we say I love you without actually saying it.

Love, but Make It Subtle: A List

1. Did you eat today?

2. You can have the last bite.